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Category: Student Articles

Theology and Me: Three Takeaways from a Season of Study

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A few weeks ago, I finished the last of two biblical training courses that I took this spring at YWAM Montana Lakeside. The first course was the Old Testament Studies Seminar, and the second was the Church History Seminar. Both of these courses were absolutely fantastic, and I learned a lot about God, his Word, and myself. I want to share a bit of my journey with you. These are just a few of the practical fruits of spending an entire season studying theology.

A Voice in the Chorus

For years I struggled with not knowing what to do with my voice. Sometimes I wouldn’t speak at all (literally) or I would speak too loudly (not literally, but by believing my opinion mattered the most). These courses showed me a new way to understand the impact of my voice, and where it fits in the context of the body of Christ.

The Old Testament and church history are both filled with dynamic and vibrant characters, whose voices echo through the centuries to us and inspire us in our faith. When you first approach these subjects, you can begin to feel overwhelmed. You might ask yourself, “how could I ever add anything to what’s already been said by the heroes of our faith? People like Moses, Isaiah, Ignatius, and Augustines. Where do I fit in?” The question I struggled with was, “what value does my voice have in relation to those who laid the groundwork for what I believe? Who am I to raise my voice?”

The voices in the chorus are just as important as the one singing the solo.

After studying the Old Testament and church history in more detail and spending time with these influential characters, I realized that for every huge, timeless voice in our history, there are hundreds of ordinary people that God used alongside the giants to accomplish His will. For all the dominant voices that came out of the church councils, the councils themselves were made up of bishops whose names time has forgotten, but their votes counted the same as anyone else’s. These people shared in being guided by the same Spirit as those whom we remember. Their voice isn’t heard up front, but it can be clearly heard in the background chorus of the body of Christ. It’s here that I found meaning for my studies. Sometimes we approach the study of history or theology as a means to increase our own voice on a specific subject. This was the main source of value that I saw in studying theology. Now I see that the voices in the chorus are just as important as the one singing the solo. If my contribution to the church is being a backing voice, then I can happily rest in obscurity.

A Man of Little Understanding

Something that kept coming up over and over in my work was how very little humanity actually knows about anything. I mistakenly thought that if I studied enough I would reach the point where I would know ‘sufficiently’ enough to be called an expert. I’ve begun to realize that this is an error, because of the endless nature of God’s character, and the infinitely surprising ways that he chooses to act in our lives and in the universe. Compared to who God is, our digging to understand Him has yet to scratch the surface. We haven’t even approached the surface. This isn’t to say that the effort isn’t worth it, because it absolutely is. In order to be effective in our studies, it’s worth remembering just how infinite God is. We need to be humbled by his character to the point where we are dumbfounded by just how incredible God is. This will drive us to want to know Him more, which will make our studies more rich and vibrant. Scholastics isn’t a dry field as long as we go outside every now and then to experience the glory of God raining down on us from every direction.

I know almost nothing, but God has called me to try and learn

Over and over and over again I came to the realization that humanity, in general, is pretty stupid. I don’t say this to mock God’s creation or to insinuate that humanity is incapable of getting it right every now and then… but we screw things up a lot. There is pretty much no conceivable thing or scenario that humanity hasn’t screwed up at some point in history. Think about that! We even screw up while doing things that should be easy. For example, this spring I walked into a tree, and managed to pour coffee down my own back. If I can drop the ball while doing something as simple as walking, it’s not surprising to see people make a mess of theology throughout history. Sometimes it’s shocking to realize how thoroughly we screw things up, but it really shouldn’t be that surprising. This should humble us and make us thankful for God and his grace, and how he will never abandon us despite how vigorously we sometimes toss him aside. I know almost nothing, but God has called me to try and learn. Despite how often I screw up, God continues to guide me onward toward the prize.

For the Love of the Church

This information I’ve acquired isn’t just for my own knowledge and pride.

One of the biggest takeaways for me from this time of study, was realizing that all of this information I’ve acquired isn’t just for my own knowledge and pride. It should be used to build up the church. I may not be able to speak directly to people about the specifics of what I’ve learned. Much of it would be boring or hard to understand without context. However, I can use the examples of the people from throughout the Old Testament and church history who lived their lives for God. Those who did what it took to bring his truth into the world, those who fought to be able to live the gospel. These are the ideas I can take back to my church, to encourage the body to press onward into God, to press into what he has called them to do.

I’m supposed to love the church in the same ways that the heroes of our faith loved God and his people. I’m able to lay down my personal thoughts and theology for the benefit of the church: to strive for unity. When necessary, standing up to challenge and correct false teaching. Loving the church doesn’t mean stepping aside and letting it be overrun by false teaching. It does, however, mean being a good steward with the knowledge I have been entrusted with. I need to use discretion to know when it’s time to teach, and when it’s time to listen. To again join the chorus of the body, loving God together, united in laying down our lives for Him and for the body. We are called to be imitators of Christ who laid down his life for his friends.

Love the Ordinary

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“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:31-34

I come from a small town in the middle of Wisconsin. The land is flat, the air is dry and cold (or extremely humid and hot), and the most common response people give me when I tell them where I’m from is “oh, so, cheese.” My town is the definition of ‘ordinary’. I’ve spent a lot of years taking my town and its people for granted, because I thought God wasn’t doing anything there. After my Discipleship Training School and my School of Biblical Studies, I came home with a sense of pride, and I held my home in contempt (this was not the fault of the schools; I just missed the point). I was a hypocrite, saying with my mouth that God loved and acted for everyone in a global sense, but believing in my heart that he was absent from Wisconsin. Thankfully, God is graceful to break the hearts of man, and thankfully, he taught me what it means to value his people and his kingdom.

If God is with us every day, he is with us every place as well

This is where the passage from Matthew comes in. This isn’t just some good advice. Jesus is essentially commanding us “do not worry”. What value is it to not worry for tomorrow? It shows us that no matter where we are, God is present, watching and faithful to provide what we need as we need it. If I am somewhere ‘exotic’, say the Amazon jungle, God is there, working in me and through me in that day. If, three months later, I am staring at the corn fields of Midwest America, God is there, working in me and through me in that day. If God is with us every day, he is with us every place as well. Focusing on today makes it impossible to worry about where God might have us tomorrow. In this way the focus changes from God’s extraordinary action, to the extraordinary nature of God.

Is Our Calling Extraordinary?

Here’s an example. We often remember Abraham as someone who had an extraordinary relationship with God because of all the crazy things that happened in his life: the miracle of his calling, the promise and fulfillment of Isaac, the conversation about Sodom and Gomorrah, the covenants God made with him, and quite a lot more. These are all amazing events and valuable teachings that show that God does incredible things. Sometimes, we forget that in the background of all of these events, Abraham was called to live in a tent for the rest of his life. Hebrews 11 states that Abraham was able to do this because he was looking forward to a time when tents would be made obsolete by the city of God. Granted, he wasn’t distracted by the possibility of exploring jungles or touring a volcano or snowboarding or taking pictures of coffee on his phone and so many other things we deem ‘exciting’. But even if he had all those possibilities before him, I don’t think he would have cared, because he knew who God was and what he was called to do.

Ordinary isn’t Boring

This is how I understand the need to love the ordinary, or rather, what the world would refer to as ordinary. I don’t believe God sees the world as ordinary, and as his workers and friends, I don’t believe we are supposed to either. God and his kingdom are inherently extraordinary, and to say the things he has called us to are ‘boring’ or to crave another job or destination is to dismiss how he is moving in those places for his kingdom. I love adventure and seeing new things and experiencing different cultures, but I now see that adventure shouldn’t come at the cost of sacrificing what God is doing in the ‘ordinary’ places.

Content in our tents

Maybe God has called you out of missions back to your home or to someplace you had no desire to go. Maybe you’re the parent, sibling, or friend of someone currently in YWAM and you’re constantly hearing about their incredible adventures and you feel like your life is boring in comparison. Maybe you are a YWAMer about to head home for a while. Or maybe you’re just struggling with being called to something other than what you hoped and dreamed for your life. Understand that God is there, and he is doing the extraordinary even if you cant see it.

“A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.”

God has brought me to a lot of different places, and shown me a lot of different things, for which I am forever grateful. But I am no longer envious of seeing the world, of being somewhere other than where God has called me in that time. Proverbs 14:30 says “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.” For so long I was envious of the world. I wanted to experience different cultures and see new sights. But focusing on who God is and what he is doing right now in this moment has brought a newfound appreciation and ability to see what God is doing in my tiny town.

God has called me back to my tent many times over the last few years. Before it always felt like a burden. But now, I find it a joy because I see God there, and he is extraordinary enough for me.

We Are All Counselors

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We are all counselors. Christians and non-Christians alike, in every word and deed, provide counsel to another of either righteousness or wickedness. Though not everyone holds a master’s degree or Ph.D., all Christians are empowered by the Great Physician. The process of becoming well trained in our righteous counsel comes from studying the scriptures, and ultimately deeply knowing and loving the Mighty Counselor.

WE POINT OTHERS TO LIFE WHEN WE POINT THEM TO JESUS

Christians in a private counseling office, standing behind a pulpit, or sitting in a pew alike are in the process of being redeemed. Since redemption is a lifelong process, no one has arrived yet, thus all are responsible for pointing one another to the trust and true way to Life: because we all alike desperately need Him.

We point others to life when we point them to Jesus, the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:16). This is practically done by living out of our identity in Him: walking in humility, service, unconditional love, grace, forgiveness, and submission to the Father’s will. Leading others in right counsel also includes an uncompromising resolve to proclaim the truth.

Paul David Tripp states,

“The central work of God’s kingdom is change. God accomplishes this work as the Holy Spirit empowers people to bring His Word to others. We bring more than solutions, strategies, principles, and commands. We bring the greatest story ever told, the story of the Redeemer… This is the work of the kingdom of God: people in the hands of the Redeemer, daily functioning as his tools of lasting change.” (Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands, 35)

What counsel are we providing to others; furthermore, what are we doing to equip ourselves to provide righteous counsel to the glory of God?

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.” (Psalm 1:1-2 ESV)

The Psalter contrasts taking wicked counsel to delighting in the Lord and His law. The contrast here provides implication that those who dwell amid the Word of the Lord will provide right counsel, or live and speak in a way that glorifies God. The more we know, love, and treasure His Word in our hearts, the more we are conformed to His likeness and are further able to point others to the Redeemer Himself, who changes hearts.

Jeremiah

The prophet Jeremiah was a righteous counselor; though, he did not speak words that the people wanted to hear. Jeremiah spoke the truth, and in contrast he classifies those that merely spoke whatever the people wanted to hear as false prophets, preaching peace, peace, when there is no peace (Jeremiah 6:13-14).

The prophet Jeremiah provides example that providing righteous counsel may not mean acceptance or popularity, but it does mean Life. Through the Holy Spirit, the Word dwelling within us, we are equipped to counsel well, and that means with Truth in the way of righteousness, leading to eternal life.

Job

While Job was suffering, he received counsel from his friends, and despite their good intentions, they were not counseling him with truth, but rather in deceit as they insisted his suffering was on behalf of his sin. Their ignorance to God’s character proved them worthless counselors, not leading Job in the way of Truth but rather leading him from it.

“As for you, you whitewash with lies; worthless physicians are you all.” (Job 13:4)

Let’s not be like Job’s friends, but be counselors of righteousness and truth, pointing to the glory of God in our every word and deed. Everything we do provides counsel to another, and as saints our duty is to live and speak in such a way that counsels others in the way of righteousness. The more we let His Word and His presence impact our hearts, the more we will grow the fruit of righteousness: leading others to see and savor the Lord as most glorious.

6 Things I WON’T Miss About My Short Term Mission Trip

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Editors Note: Please be sure to read this blog post through to the end. We promise it will make more sense that way. 

Our time in Thailand is rapidly coming to a close.  I’ve been thinking a lot about the things I’ve been able to experience during our two month trip.  There have been many new sights, smells, sounds, and tastes since we first stepped off the plane in Bangkok.  There are so many things that I’ve learned here that it is hard to recount all of them.  But I can definitely think of some things that I WON’T miss about my journey here.

Note:  It appears to me that there is a new fad on the Internet where people create obscure lists that reveal ‘secrets’ (but usually not actual worthwhile information) about our generation.  I’ve seen titles like “14 Things You Didn’t Know About [insert movie here]” or “8 Things Every 20-Something Should Do Before [insert arbitrary date]…  Number 3 is Insane!” on a daily basis on Facebook.  So, since I’m so up to date with the latest fads and trends of my generation I have decided to make my own ‘list blog’.

So here it goes.  6 Things I WON’T Miss About My Short Term Mission Trip:

1. Asking God what He would have me do each day.

Since coming to Chiang Mai, our day looks like this.  Eat breakfast at 9 am, have a quiet time, meet at 10:15, and get started with ministry around 11.  During our quiet time, we can do whatever we want.  Usually people read the Bible, journal, listen to music, play guitar, or even sleep (yes, sometimes sleep, and that’s ok).  This time is given for us to seek God and ask Him which ministry He would want for us to do.  Sometimes, this is challenging, because we may want to do something, but God may want us to do something different that day.  This has been challenging for someone like me, because I tend to like to have a schedule and prepare myself for the day in advanced.  So as I head into a corporate job back in Texas, I won’t miss this.

2. Asking God for His heart in every situation.

Since coming on this trip, I have seen and experienced things that have confused or even angered me.  Some of these things include: ‘Christian’ Schools where they don’t teach the gospel (or severely twist it for their own agenda), getting different answers from different monks about Buddhism depending on the day or the monk you happen to be talking to, and witnessing 70 year old men out at the bars trying to buy girls that are young enough to be their granddaughters.  In many of these instances, my emotions begin to try to get the best of me, but I’ve constantly had to give them to God.  I’ve had to ask God the hard questions like, “God, where are you in this situation?!” or “God, how can this be redeemed?!” while metaphorically shaking my fist at Him.  And the crazy thing is, He’s never left me wondering.  Whether it’s like a small drop of rain or a roaring flood, His goodness has endured and been revealed even in the toughest situations.  Definitely won’t miss this.

3. Being intentional about every relationship I’ve made, whether I’m going to see that person again or not.

I have met so many people here, seeing many new faces every single day.  Whether it’s a 5 year old kid at an English camp we are holding, a 50 year old man in the red light district, or a 22 year old monk in a temple, God has reminded me to be intentional in every relationship.  Many times I’ve thought, “I can take today off, it’s not like I’m ever going to see these people again,” and God has brought someone in my path that has had a profound impact on me.  The thing I’ve learned is that it doesn’t matter if I’m ever going to talk to that person again or not.  I am God’s chosen instrument (and if you’re a believer, so are you!) to reveal His light to the darkness of this world, so I am always reflecting a part of God’s character to everyone I meet.  Whether it’s a smile as I’m walking past a stranger to remind them God loves them, or I’m acting like a fool and inadvertently revealing God’s grace for His children, it all matters.  Every relationship matters?  Won’t miss this.

4. Going to God first when something is bothering or frustrating me.

Back at home, many of the friends I hang out with are pretty identical to me.  My ‘community’ consists of guys that come from similar backgrounds or are in similar stages of life as I am.  But I haven’t had that here in Thailand, or even since coming to DTS back in April.  I’ve been surrounded by people that are in some ways extremely different than me.  This has forced me to rely on God when I’ve grown frustrated in a situation or ‘need to vent’.  Back home, I always have guys to go to that understand my point of view because they usually agree with me.  Here, I haven’t had the same type of close connection with the guys that I’m used to, so I’ve had to go to God and God alone.  It seems really simple, but this practice of going straight to God when I get angry, frustrated, lonely, sad, mad, or anything else has been profound in my relationship with Him.  I won’t miss this as I head back home to my friends.

5. Resting in God and not thinking I always have to be doing something.

Our western culture tends to celebrate people described as ‘driven’ or ‘motivated’.  Being described this way is not inherently a bad thing.  The problem is, these words are sometimes used to mask words like ‘pushy’ or ‘ego-centric’ which give a more accurate description of many people in our culture.  I have fallen into the trap of always having to have something to do.  I think that the way I show that I’m devoted to God is by continuously pushing myself to the limit and ‘sacrificing’ all of my other desires ‘for His Kingdom’.  Here, I’ve had time to rest.  I’ve had time to think about the ways God loves me, for who I am and what He’s done for me, not for what I’ve done/am doing.  This is definitely something that I won’t miss.

6. Being pushed out of my comfort zone and loving people I wouldn’t normally gravitate towards.

God loves everyone, more than we can describe or imagine.  Because of this, He has called us to love everyone, even if it’s uncomfortable.  I have met many people here that I would never even approach in my daily life back in America.  Some of these people have very different lifestyles than what I’m used to and view life in a completely different way than me.  But I believe God has brought me to them to push me to love them the way He loves them.  And let me tell you, sometimes it’s been a huge challenge.  But God’s love goes deeper than sexual orientations, lifestyle choices, political stances, and nationalities.  This is something that He has taught me throughout this journey, and I won’t miss it at all.

I won’t miss any of these things, because with God’s help, these things will become a part of my everyday life with Christ.

Here’s the kicker to all of the things on this list.  The reason why I won’t miss any of these things is because these are all things that I should be doing in my daily walk with Christ, whether I’m on a mission trip or back at home, or anywhere.  Relying on God in all situations?  Yep.  Being intentional with every relationship, no matter how big or small?  You betcha.  Loving people different than me, even when it’s uncomfortable?  Of course.  I won’t miss any of these things, because with God’s help, these things will become a part of my everyday life with Christ.

Thanks for reading!  God has blessed us so stinking much!  Prayers for our travels and our return to America would be greatly appreciated!  Also, that I can find an apartment and a roommate in Houston before I start my job 2 weeks after DTS is over!

Reunion Not Worthy to Compare

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We’ve all been there: especially as YWAMers we are all too familiar with growing to love people just for the season to end, leaving people and people leaving us; saying goodbye to people we love is hard.

When we are separated from these people – we can’t help but miss them: it’s natural to groan for and crave the presence of those we love but cannot be with. We then anticipate the moment when we will be in reunion, waiting and wishing for that day to come.

For some people, though, we know that the reality may just be that the day of reunion will never come, so we anticipate another day – the day when we will together be at the throne of the infinitely glorious King offering endless praise.

 “See you on the other side!” A brother in Christ exclaimed to me. Yes, there is truth in that. On That Day, saints will be among one another as we worship the Lord, but I don’t believe that I will be experiencing this joyous and excited reunion with friends and family that heaven is often described to be. I will be reunited with the One I love far more.

Reunited with the One

“Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.” (Psalm 73:25 ESV)

I think about how much joy I experience when I see a friend that I’ve longed to be with, and how excited I become in anticipation of it. This is natural. This is how I believe I was made to feel, as my excitement in earthly reunion points to something even greater I am anticipating: my physical reunion with God the Almighty.

 “For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.” (Romans 8:22-23 ESV) 

 Not Worthy to Compare

If, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him,” then being reunited with people we miss in heaven should be of little significance to us – because all of our satisfactions will, forevermore, be sufficiently found in Him alone and we will be worshiping Him in the fullness of joy.

 “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11 ESV) 

As saints we will be in the presence of God: finding sufficient joy and love alone in Him, but with that, we will be among Christ’s body, which He loves and actually commands we also love. We cannot worship and love God in fullness unless we love what he loves. God loves His Body.

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:36-40 ESV)

Are You Anticipating?

Our anticipation and yearning can serve as a means of directing our gaze to the promise of heaven. We await the reunion of the saints in Christ, worshiping the King as One Body in Him. Further, though, we await our physical reunion with the infinitely glorious God.

When faced with the heartache when parting from people we love, or groaning with anticipation to be reunited with someone we miss – let’s look at Jesus. Let it be reminder that there is promised a day where we will no longer be physically separated from God; we will be in His presence and all sufficiently satisfied in Him.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6-8 ESV)

Anticipation is a wonderful reminder of all that Christ has done in reconciling the saints with God. Not by anything we can do, but only because of what Christ has done, we get to be in the presence of God forevermore. Praise the glorious King.

Teach Me to Love

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It been a long three weeks, but I have really loved Thailand. A lot has gone on, from spending time with some people in prison to hanging out in a remote village on the border of Myanmar to teaching English to so many students of different ages. Even with all that going on, I haven’t had any big, huge life changing moments. Alas, this past week has been busy, and it has awakened a new realization. My team has been pretty close from the very begining. It came as an almost rude surprise to be experiencing some discord within our group. The fact that we fell into something that every team goes through made me the most mad. I thought we’d be the one team to hold it together. But a couple trips to the hospital, a mysterious rash, and a few emotional breaks down later… we are only human. Throughout it all I’ve had a song stuck in my head. Here’s what I learned: Senior year of high school my dear Spanish teacher, Señora Oeste, came across this simple but profound song

“Enseñame a amar,
enseñame a ser como tú,
dame tú corazon”

Which translates to:

“Teach me to love,
teach me to be like You,
give me Your heart”

Having that mindset can change everything. My sweet sister Katie led team time tonight and she basically said if we DON’T TRY to have God’s heart for these people then we will fail at why we even came here. Maybe its cliché, but love goes a long way. Love is the answer. Love is bigger. cue elephant love medley Life live with all the love you can give, you might surprise yourself.

Planting Seeds and Trusting God

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God totally blew my mind the other day.  Here’s the story.

One of the temples in Chiang Mai does something called Monk Chat.  Basically, a tourist can sit down with a monk and ask questions about Buddhism and what it’s like to be a monk. We use this as a ministry opportunity.  It’s a cool setting to learn about Buddhism and to show God’s love to the monks.

I met a monk there named Vijay who is actually from India.  He travelled to this particular temple in Thailand to learn English because it has a great English program for the monks.  He was 24 years old, and had only been an official monk for about a year, but he had been a novice (attending a Buddhist high school in preparation of becoming a monk) since he was 14.  He spoke perfect English, so he and I were able to communicate easily.

I asked Vijay many questions about what it meant to be a monk, who Buddha was, and what his teachings were all about.  He was very happy to tell me all that he knew (he was very educated), and he even took out his journal with his class notes that went through the history of Buddhism.

While we were speaking, I was actively praying and asking God what I should say next and I was praying that it would be His words coming through me, not my own.  After about an hour of listening to him and asking him questions, God gave me an open door.

*Let me preface the rest of the story with this: As some of you know, I am not a Biblical scholar.  I am also by no means an apologist.  I haven’t even read the entire Bible yet (Deuteronomy, Leviticus, Lamentations… pretty much any book over 3 syllables intimidates me).  I tell you this so you can see how God used this conversation for His glory, even in spite of me.*

In Vijay’s journal, he had dates written down for events, like ‘500 BC’ and ‘250 AD’.  So I asked him if he know what ‘BC’ and ‘AD’ meant.  He knew that they referred to Jesus.  He said that Jesus was a good teacher, and he was tortured and killed, but as he was being killed he called out to God, “Forgive them”, and after 3 days he was resurrected (he actually said ‘reincarnated’ and I had to correct them).

Ok, so he knew about Jesus.  From here I just developed some very basic (remember my Biblical credentials… not many) arguments for my faith.  If you’re really into apologetics, you probably could’ve gotten way more into this, but I’m not.  I asked him who he thought Jesus was talking to on the cross (when he said “Forgive them”) since Buddhists don’t believe in God. I brought up the fact that Vijay said Jesus was a ‘good teacher’.  If anyone is familiar with CS Lewis, you probably already know his argument against this type of statement.  If you have no clue what I’m talking about it, I can briefly explain it below.

*Basically, Jesus never said he was a ‘good teacher’.  He said he was the Son of God.  In order to imply that He was simply a ‘good teacher’, you are saying He was lying about being the Son of God.  If He was lying about being the Son of God, then He wasn’t a ‘good teacher’ because He would be a liar.  So basically you have to believe Him that He is actually who He says He is, the Son of God, or you have to believe He’s a deranged crazy man who can’t be trusted because of the lunacy of what He proclaims about Himself.  Lewis argues that there is no in between, and he presents this argument (way better than I am) in Mere Christianity, which if you haven’t read, you should.*

The awesome thing about this discussion was that Vijay was totally tracking with me.  Him and I each presented our points and discussed the differences between them.  Through all of this, I got to hit on the basic message of the gospel many times.  Before I left, I thanked him for the talk and he was beaming.  He said, “No, thank you.  People always come and all they do is ask me questions and listen, this is the first time someone has actually taught me something.”  We made plans to talk again.  Super cool.

The next day, we go back to the temple and he isn’t around.  So I began chatting with another monk who didn’t know very much English at all.  After about an hour, Vijay showed up.  We pretty much hopped right back into the discussion we were having the day before.

We began presenting arguments again (Note: when I say ‘argument’ it actually wasn’t an argument at all; it was an awesome conversation where we were both presenting evidence for our beliefs) and as we talked, people began to gather around.  I don’t know exactly how many people were listening, but there were 7 at our table (Vijay and another monk, and 5 tourists, including myself) and a few people at surrounding tables listening in as well.  I kept asking God what to say next, and it was awesome because Vijay kept leading me into chances to explain the gospel.  Vijay and I had been talking about specific scenarios, without anyone else chiming in for probably 20 minutes, when something awesome happened.

One of the other tourists at the table, a Dutch guy about my age, turned to me and said, “It sounds like if you saw a little girl on the side of the road who had no way of helping herself, you would stop to help her so that you can go to heaven.”  I got to explain to him that actually, I already know I’m going to heaven.  Jesus already covered my sins, so I don’t have to worry about earning favor with Him.  The reason I would stop to help her is because of the love that God already has for me, not so I could earn his love.  He understood.  Then he asked the monk a similar question and the conversation continued.

It was getting late, so I jotted down my name and email address for the Dutch guy and another girl who seemed interested at the table and Grayson, my former DTS roommate, and I took off.  Leaving the temple, we were both pretty amazed that God created such a great opportunity for the gospel to be openly shared during the conversation, and for how many people were there to hear it.  As we went through the temple gates, I ran to the 7-11 across the street to get a bottle of water.  When I came out, I saw the Dutch guy standing there talking to Grayson.  He had apparently followed us out of the temple.

When I approached them he said, “Hey man, I was hoping you could explain to me more about what you were saying.  I know some Christians back home who say that they are pretty sure that they won’t go to Heaven because of some of the awful things they have done.  But it sounds like you know that you’re going to Heaven.”  I’ve only been a ‘missionary’ for a handful of weeks, but I’m pretty sure this is an evangelist’s jackpot.

So right there on the temple grounds, right outside the main gate, I got to go through the gospel with him.  I even got to use my Bible (which may sound weird, but many times it’s hard to have an opportunity to pull out your Bible because people get so turned off by it).  He had already heard about Jesus and God the Father while I was talking to Vijay, so I took him to Ephesians 1:13-14 and explained to him how, because I have the Holy Spirit living in me (the deposit that guarantees our inheritance), I know I’m going to heaven.

He ended up walking with us for about 15 minutes, in the opposite direction of where he was supposed to go, in order to ask us more questions about Christianity and about God.  It was so cool.  When he finally left, Grayson and I were pumped.  We praised God, high-fived, and smiled from ear to ear the rest of the way home.  It was insane how God had orchestrated the whole thing.

That Dutch guy didn’t come to know Christ that day, but he was obviously seeking and very open to hear about Him.  Statistics say that it takes the average Christian about 6 times of hearing the gospel before they accept Jesus (for me, it took 20 years and countless times).  How crazy would it be for that guy, if maybe 10 years down the road he prays for his salvation, and looks back and realizes that the first time he heard the gospel was inside a Buddhist temple, in Thailand, from an American ‘missionary’, who happened to be there at the same time as him.

That’s how awesome God is.  He is everywhere and He can reach people anywhere.  He is on a relentless pursuit of His children.  It doesn’t matter if you’re in a Buddhist temple, a bar, a strip club, at work, or the back row at church, God can reach you.  Jesus said in John 6:41, “For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.”

One thing I’ve learned about evangelism is that most of it is planting seeds and trusting God to make them grow.  What an honor it was to be able to plant the seed in that guy’s life.

In Praise of Brokenness

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The past felt hard but the worst was yet to come. Thank God I was oblivious to this fact. In the exact middle, between hurt and more hurt, I ventured off to a 9-month, intensive, Biblical Studies program.

I wanted the learning for my future career in ministry but needed it for my own personal survival. In the wilderness of Montana I worked hard, day-in and day-out. Most days were between 8-9 hours with my nose in the Bible. Many days it was more.

The learning was mentally exhilarating. Emotionally, though, something new was digging in to me.

I remember the day clearly. In an effort to break up the monotony, a group of students decided to go to a local coffee shop to study. We all spread out to our own tables, ordered our bottomless coffee and began to pound away at the work to be done. The book of Romans was our current task. This is no small feat to grasp if you are familiar with the Bible. I remember the exact table and the uncomfortable wooden chair I was sitting in. While classmates around me were doing a theological CrossFit routine in their minds… I was reading the same phrase over and over and over.

“so death spread to all”
“so death spread to all”
“so death spread to all”

Then, the tears just came. They welled up and cascaded down, one after another. I wept… and wept and wept. My head dropped, I didn’t want anyone to see my face. My closest friend could hear me.

With confusion, “Lindsey, what is wrong?”

There was no reason for me to suddenly burst in to tears, especially for a committed non-cryer like me.

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll be ok” I replied.

The tears were now morphing with the snot. I was a mess and clearly not ok. That was my exact thought.

“I am not ok… not on any level.”

I wasn’t just talking about the past. I was not just fearing the future. After 16 years of following Jesus… at that moment, at that coffee shop, for the first time in my life I came to terms with my own brokenness and the brokenness of this world.

The Bible gave me permission to admit the stark reality. I had tasted, lived and dwelled with death more intimately than I wanted to admit.

I was not a good person who messed up a little bit. I was not someone who made mere mistakes. I was not a girl in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was deeply, deeply broken. Loved, valued… broken.

Jesus didn’t come to rescue mistakers. He died to give life to dead people. And I was one of those dead people… I knew it deeper than I ever had.

But the tears were not tears of condemnation. They were tears of collapse. Tears of a deep, deep sorrow. Sorrow at my hurt, sorrow at my own ineptitude to fix this mess. Sorrow at the pain around me. Tears of surrender and thus tears of pure joy.

I’ve never know such joy and gratitude mixed with such sorrow. I now new the meaning of the phrase, “such sweet sorrow.”

In the past I was looking for a Jesus who fixed mistakes. That day I realised I had a Jesus who made dead people come alive.

So I leaned in. I was tired and I pressed in to it. I was broken and I leaned in. I was hopeless and I pushed right in to the middle of it. I longed for a land I didn’t know or couldn’t name and I dwelled right there, looking for the unknown shore.

Not because I’m a masochist. I leaned in because God doesn’t pat mistakers on the back. God makes dead people come alive. As long as I minimise my brokenness; I minimise my hope, rescue and life.

For the past 14 years, I’ve been leaning in. It’s there I find Jesus. Jesus doesn’t look for self-help experts. He looks for inept, broken, dead people. American business experts suggest women “lean in” to success and greater achievements. The Gospel dares us to lean in to our failures and pain. It is there that we find something completely unexpected.

When I’m tempted to run away or minimise. I lean in.
When I fear for my children’s future. I lean in.
When I hurt others. I lean in.
When others wound me. I lean in.
When I face other’s brokenness. I lean in.
When I’m ashamed of my failures. I lean in.

The harder I lean, the more quickly I feel the embrace of the Father.

And so death spread to all. The lie is that the story ends there.

Where death increased, grace abounded all the more. This is where the story ends.

This is in praise of brokenness. In that land, God makes dead people come alive.

The Gospel Brings Hope

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So wat di, khap! (hello in Thai)

We’ve been in Thailand for about a week now. It seems crazy because it feels much longer than that.

In America, there’s a saying that says ‘there’s a church on every street corner’. Imagine that, but instead of churches it’s Buddhist temples, and I would say that there are even more of them here. In fact, there is a saying in Thai that says ‘to be Thai is to be Buddhist’. Pretty much everywhere we go we are surrounded by statues of Buddha adorned in fresh flowers. This country is about 96% Buddhist, with between .5%-2% of the population being Christian depending on who you ask. Very different than America.

With these facts in mind, I began preparing a teaching for one of our ministry days. Our contacts here in Ratchaburi started a ministry where they brought the gospel to a prison nearby. The ministry has grown and there are about 120 male and 40 female Christians that they know of in the prison. They’ve even run a couple of Discipleship Training Schools inside the prison with inmates as students. Our involvement with the ministry was to go in and provide some worship songs, a testimony, a dance, and a teaching.

There were probably 40 inmates in the worship area with us, with many more walking around outside who stopped to watch what we were doing.  They did a few worship songs in Thai and our translator, Pi Noi, gave a brief teaching. Then it was our turn.

I was in charge of the teaching. It was supposed to be about 20 minutes (about 40 when you account for the translation) and I could talk about whatever I wanted. When preparing, I really felt God saying that I needed to focus on the truth of the gospel. I felt that in a culture that was surrounded by a lot of spiritual oppression and fear, I needed to remind the believers in the prison of what they received when they accepted God in their hearts. The main point of my message was that there are many lies from the enemy and the world that constantly bombard us, but the truth of the gospel is what gives us hope as believers.

After I concluded my teaching, we began praying for the inmates. I prayed for a handful of men in English. I trusted that even if they couldn’t understand my words, the Holy Spirit would be communicating to them. As I was praying for a couple of guys, our translator called me over and said that there was a group of men who wanted to accept Christ as their Savior. (I didn’t even know there were men there who weren’t believers. I thought all of the men there had already accepted Christ. I wondered why God wanted me to focus so much on the basic message of the gospel. Here’s why!) He began to explain to them what it meant to accept Christ into their lives. In a Buddhist culture heavily influenced by Hinduism, it’s important that new believers know that Christ is the only way for them to be saved, not just another god in their ‘religion rolodex’. The translator allowed me to lead them in praying for their salvation. I had to fight back tears the entire time. I would pray, the translator would translate, and they would repeat it. It was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. I don’t know the exact number because I wasn’t keeping count, but we think there were about 12 men in the group that accepted Christ today.

I can’t describe the feelings of reverence, joy, and honor that I feel after being able to witness those men accept Christ. I got to be an instrument of God’s love today, and I was blessed with being able to lead people in praying the most important prayer of their entire lives. It was so incredibly awesome. God is so good!

I can’t even imagine what else God has in store for our team while we are here. Please keep our team in your prayers as we are still adjusting to the culture here. Also, please pray for more energy as we are working the fields for God’s kingdom. Whether we are planting the seed, fertilizing it, or reaping the harvest, we are truly blessed to be here with the sole mission of doing God’s work.

Thanks for all of the support and praise God for the awesome things He’s doing!