It was a cold apple crisp morning, the dark fogged skies blossoming open every hour. My best friend and I threw all of my bags in her little lightning bolted car and we drove into the sunrise. The whole time we were driving, the state of my chest was tight, I could barely think, let alone breathe. “Lord, is this what you have really called me to do?” We had just passed the “Welcome To Montana” sign when all of a sudden– the darkness around me turned to lush green and gold dipped trees waving and gliding with the wave and motion with every step closer I got to Lakeside.
It had been a little over two months since I had finished my DTS in Lakeside. It was a time spent with spring air, sunshine beauty, lilac growth, and dandelion aches. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that much growth before—it was like a jasmine tea pearl expanding in a teacup. A phenomenon of floral fragrance and sweetness. Something that was so explosive but slowly faded away after every extravagant sip. During the two months spent apart from Montana I continued to repeat the words of Oscar Wilde—
“Some things are more precious because they don’t last long.”
It is those moments when you are infinite— you spend the nights with the hearts that you love, run wild and free, dance until your glass slipper is misplaced. You gaze at the stars under red street lights and hold your breath until a car comes—then you finally wake up from months of wonderland and think, curiouser and curiouser, “Was that all a dream?”
Being back home was an icy slap in the face
compared to the dream I had been living.
“Home” was no longer “Home”. I wasn’t where I belonged. I knew I was called to Montana. I prayed every day for direction and doors to open— but it was the three simple and gentle words that my Mighty King said that confirmed the plans in my heart. “Work”, “Serve”, and “Go”. I had consistently and fervently prayed about what God had been speaking to me about. I wanted to be an intern at YWAM Montana Lakeside and now I was on the sweet mustard-dipped winding journey back to Montana.
Here I am
The gates are open wide and the huckleberry air always brings me right on in with a warm welcome. I am living in a strawberry jam cram dorm with an awesome roommate. I am spending full days as project staff in the Creative Media Department creating video promos all day long. I am serving a church I have wanted to serve at for years. The road has been hard, it has been long, but I am finally here. I am continuously pushing through and trusting in the Lord with all of my heart. I am taking baby steps toward the bigger picture. I am going after my dreams. I believe that God has placed a huge calling on my life for the creative arts and I’m going to follow him with everything I’ve got. Even when I can’t see what is ahead. All I’m doing is trustingly running blind and listening to His sweet honeysuckle voice.
You can do anything God has called you to.
Habakkuk 3:17-19 // Acts 20:23-24 // 1 Corinthians 9:23-25 // 2 Timothy 4:7 // Hebrews 12:1-3
If there is any nugget of wisdom I could give, it would be to get up off of your feet. Take off your shoes and socks to run at the speed of light. Stretch and work your unused muscles. Pursue the desires that God Himself has placed in your heart. Seek what is good. What is right. What is pure. GO. And don’t look back. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. Go after one that’s gold eternally. Count on God’s Rule to prevail, take heart and gain strength. Run like a deer upon the highest mountains!