Worthiness.
Worth is something the Lord spoke a lot to me about this Fall. The fact that though on my own I have nothing, I am nothing; I am worthy because He calls me such.
When I was in Nepal, a couple verses had me thinking…
“Live a life worthy of the calling you have received” – Ephesians 4:1
“Aim for perfection” – 2 Corinthians 13:11
God had been working in me tremendously, bringing me to a place where I could see my worth through His eyes. The idea of living a life worthy of His calling was overwhelming to me, but I realized He deemed me worthy even when I myself may think I’m not. This is an extremely weighty charge; one that I believe the Holy Spirit prompted me to meditate on for about a week. I think I’m getting used to the whole idea of grace. I know I fail, I know God loves me anyway. But, how often do I take on the charge that I have a responsibility – a responsibility to live my life worthy and to aim for perfection?
Then it all clicked once again, the concept so simple that I constantly lose: it’s never me, it’s always Him.
To me, a person worthy would be one who exemplifies the fruits of the Spirit day in and day out. We all know the fruits of the Spirit, our grandmothers have them crocheted on a wall hanging or pillow. But, I have to admit, I never gave them much thought until now – until I started to ask myself what would being “worthy”, what would “aiming for perfection” look like..
Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness,
Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control.
No, that’s not me… maybe in moments, but not consistently. For days I sat with this thought. “Lord, how do I go about this correctly? How do I, as a sinner, live a life that would be deemed worthy of the amazing life you’ve given me?” As I asked Him this question, He answered me something He’s been speaking to me repeatedly over the last year,
“Abide in me”.
“For where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” – 2 Corinthians 3:17. Live with me daily, invite me into your life, consult me in everything, pray for my heart and there you will find your freedom.
He invites me to live this kind of intimacy with Him. Not only does He invite me to it, He reminds me it is the only way I have hope. For without Him I fail. But, with Him, I have a chance of becoming the type of woman, the type of wife, the type of leader I want to be. With His Spirit, there is freedom. Freedom from fear that I will never be worthy, freedom from feeling like I need to do it all on my own, freedom from the burden of works. Then it all clicked once again, the concept so simple that I constantly lose: it’s never me, it’s always Him. I could never be worthy of the calling I have received, but I can constantly put Him above all else. I can never be perfect, but I can strive daily to be one step closer to Him. There is responsibility on my end but, along with it, there is a never ceasing source of empowerment that comes from Him.
There was my answer. Abiding in Him daily.
From abiding will come direction, and from direction will come action, and from action growth, and from growth I will be walking towards worthiness.
